I HEART YOU.

hey heart, have you seen him today?
because i know you miss him like crazy.

i dont know why i went to pick a fight when i didnt need it.
i'm personally addicted to mirrorboy's camera.
so addicted that he's going to bring it to school everyday.
and i forgot to bring my XD card which has wayyyyy bigger memory than his card does.

oh, one more thing.
HAPPY 18TH BIRTHDAY JOHANN!


i felt that i dont know alot of people anymore.
somehow it has all drifted away.
sometimes i dont know who i am and what i'm doing.
or trying to do.

is my heart still with me?
or you took it away?
cause i thought i had you by my side last night.

i got bored so i joined facebook.
and i still dont know how to use it though.


lets say i took a picture of you.
a standstill of a moment.
promise that you wont steal the picture from me.
because thats all i have.

is it so impossible?
i'm not looking for much.
i dont even have expectations.
at least i dont think i have.
just needed someone.
anyone.
to take my breath away.

as i wait and wait. this letter grows longer with empty words.
the irony, that you're everything i want. but nothing i need.
i know its superficial because i cannot go deeper than that.
i'm not allowed to dig deeper.
you never let me in to know who you really are.
even as i try, i get pushed further away.

all this, not about ben.
really.

you're someone i make believe.
not real.
not at all.
but some how it feels like it.

EDIT;
I <3 JAP GUYS THAT WE ALL SCREAM AND DROOL OVER.